Rooted and Resilient: Grounding As a Radical Act of Queer Liberation

Taylor Berrick, MS, LCMHC, Wellness Within

In a time when hope can sometimes feel scarce and LGBTQIA+ pride faces increasing challenges, the journey of living authentically can be both courageous and overwhelming. As an LGBTQIA+ identifying and affirming therapist, Reiki Master, and Certified Breath Coach, I feel privileged to have walked alongside many clients as they navigate this very personal path. 

When I chaired the Diversity Committee at a large mental health center, I had the honor of becoming a Certified Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Provider back in 2021. Yes, Diversity (making space for different lived experiences), Equity (ensuring fairness and access, not just equality), and Inclusion (creating spaces where people actually feel like they belong). In recent times, these important principles have been swept into political debates and misunderstood headlines. Despite these challenges, my belief in DEI has never wavered and it continues to be the foundation of my work. This work started way back when I was a socially anxious teen who couldn’t bear the cafeteria. Instead of sitting alone, I volunteered in the special education department during lunch. Even then, I knew where I felt called to show up. Advocacy, belonging, and holding space for those often othered and overlooked has always been in me.

While DEI has become politicized and the rise in anti-LGBTQIA+ rhetoric can feel deeply discouraging, especially for those of us doing the work on the ground, it’s important to remember that we are not alone, and we are not without tools. When the big picture feels overwhelming, as it often does, one of the most powerful things we can do is shift how we engage with it. Zooming out can give us clarity, but staying there too long can lead to paralysis. Instead, I often encourage clients to zoom in, to ground themselves, and to explore new perspectives with curiosity and care. This kind of intentional focus has always been part of our collective survival. After all, queer history is filled with moments when hope seemed out of reach…yet we rose anyway. 

National Park Service, Virtual Fence Exhibit

On the night of June 28, 1969, at Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York, after yet another police raid many of the people, trans women of color, drag performers, and unhoused LGBTQ+ youth chose to resist. For six nights, protests filled the streets, catalyzing a national movement. Pioneers like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera emerged as leaders, and within a year, the first Pride marches took place across the country. Stonewall reminds us that the fight for authenticity, dignity, and human rights has always required both collective action and deep personal courage. This week is the 56th anniversary of Stonewall Day, in a time where we feel like all the progress we’ve made is slipping through our fingers. I implore you to dig deep and keep finding hope.

“Hope is a combination of setting goals, having the tenacity and perseverance to pursue them, and believing in our own abilities.” (Brown, 2010, p. 25) Resilience, on the other hand, is the ability to recover from setbacks, adapt to change, and keep moving forward. Research shows that resilience is closely connected to self-compassion and self-love, qualities that are especially important for queer folx who have faced stigma, rejection, or internalized shame. 

One powerful way to build that resilience is by intentionally shifting your perspective. Shifting your perspective means choosing to see a situation through a new lens, one that is more balanced, compassionate, or hopeful. When you do this, you're not just changing your thoughts; you're also signaling safety to your nervous system. Negative or rigid thinking can activate your stress response, keeping you stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. But when you reframe a challenge with curiosity or self-compassion, it helps calm the brain and body, engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, the part responsible for rest, digestion, and healing. Over time, this practice supports emotional regulation, reduces anxiety, and strengthens your ability to return to a grounded state when life feels overwhelming.

For the purpose of this article, I’d like you to try on this perspective:

Jamie, a queer person in Manchester, NH, earns twenty-something an hour, just enough to get by, but not enough to feel safe. Their nervous system is constantly dysregulated, shifting between numbness, panic, and hyper-awareness. Even small stressors trigger big reactions: tight chest, racing thoughts, dissociation at work. The news, policies, and social tension feel like a constant threat, keeping their body in a fight-or-flight loop.

Emotionally, they swing between rage, grief, despair, and guilt, rarely landing on calm. It’s hard to tell if the shakiness comes from fear or exhaustion. Their body forgets how to relax. Deep rest feels unsafe. They try grounding techniques: breathwork, candles, support groups but the emotional whiplash is constant. Jamie is holding too much, too often, for too long.

Now I’d like you to try on this perspective:

Jamie wakes up slowly, their breath steady, nervous system calm. They have cultivated regulation practices involving gentle movement, grounding meditations, journaling, and herbal tea. From this anchored place, emotions flow without overwhelming them. They can notice fear or stress without spiraling, holding space for discomfort while staying connected to themselves.

Emotional regulation helps Jamie move through the world with intention. They no longer react from panic or collapse; they respond with clarity. They're more present with their friends, more attuned to joy, and more compassionate with themselves when distress arises. Their regulated nervous system makes space for balance, curiosity, and self-awareness. Despite the chaos in the news and the uncertainty that comes with being queer in 2025, they feel a sense of inner steadiness. Their regulated state doesn't erase fear, but it gives them the capacity to hold it without drowning. They're able to live from a grounded place, offer support to others without burning out, and recognize when it's time to pause and rest. They are in control of how they are living their life intentionally, choosing how to live, not just how to endure.

Note: If you read through the section above, you just used they/them pronouns to refer to a singular person, something that helps create a more inclusive and respectful space for people of all gender identities. Thank you for practicing inclusive language! I believe this is what is meant by the saying “Rest is Resistance". In my work, I help clients reconnect with their bodies through somatic work and nervous system regulation. Many queer individuals have learned to live in their heads navigating fear, vigilance, or disconnection from their physical selves. Together, we explore the connections between mind, body, and soul, untangle generational patterns, and create new, healthier narratives.

As someone who worked from home, alone, helping people manage their stress during a global pandemic, I know how it feels to get stuck in your head and stay in this stuck survival state. That is why I started living intentionally. I started listening to different types of music at specific times of the day for varying parts of my day. This helped me be able to channel the energy I needed and give myself the pep talk I desperately needed but couldn’t muster up. Eventually I loosened up and started to move my body to the rhythm and then slowly I surrendered to what my body felt called to do. Dare I say, dancing, why yes, now my practice is to dance and have fun with it. Dance increases serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters associated with improved mood and pleasure. Increased emotional clarity and mood improvement are additional benefits of dancing. 

In 2024, after ten years in the mental health field, I opened Wellness Within, an LGBTQ+ woman-owned practice. We are a Safe Space, a Brave Space. “Brave Spaces encourage individuals to engage in courageous conversations, confront biases, and challenge perspectives constructively. It acknowledges that discomfort and growth often go hand in hand, and by stepping out of comfort zones, meaningful progress towards inclusivity can be achieved (Oxford Review, 2024).” At Wellness Within, our goal is to provide a welcoming environment where you can be your authentic self. We understand it takes bravery to stay true to yourself in a world that is trying to define you. We’re here to support you in finding your voice and speaking your truth.

In a world that too often demands our silence, invisibility, or conformity, choosing to ground ourselves is a radical act of self-preservation and self-love. Nervous system regulation is not just about feeling calm; it's about reclaiming our agency, so we can respond to the chaos around us with clarity, strategy, and courage. For queer folx, whose very existence has been politicized, pathologized, and threatened, staying rooted is both a healing practice and a form of resistance. By shifting our perspectives, tending to our bodies, and living with intention, we build the inner stability needed to keep showing up for ourselves and for our communities. Pride isn’t just a celebration; it’s a commitment to keep rising, keep resisting, and keep dreaming of a world where we are all safe to live fully and freely. We are rooted. We are resilient. And we are not done yet.

References:

Brown, B. (2012) Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead. Penguin Random House, New York.

The Oxford Review. (n.d.). Brave space – definition and explanation. The Oxford Review. Retrieved May 12, 2025, from https://oxford-review.com/the-oxford-review-dei-diversity-equity-and-inclusion-dictionary/brave-space-definition-and-explanation/